One morning several years ago I woke up with a crick in my neck. That seemingly insignificant ache, however, became an excruciatingly painful year-long time of agony. The cervical disc that had degenerated in my neck caused blinding headaches, pain that felt like blazing hot irons cascading down my back, and eventually I was unable to work or participate in any of my usual activities.
As time went on and it became increasingly obvious that lying in traction prevented anything but bed-rest, a small army of friends came to the rescue. They set up a schedule to provide meals for our family and even came in to clean the house and do the laundry. Was I grateful? Yes. Was I embarrassed? Yes, mortified. I discovered it truly was better and easier to “give than to receive.”
God took that opportunity to teach me a lesson: Graciously receive and allow people to be blessed because they gave. Since then, I’ve had many opportunities to see that principle put into action, with the same wonderful results.
In this holiday season, we are reminded, probably more than on any other occasion, to give. And as we do so, we are the ones who receive. As one HCC volunteer exclaimed, “giving makes me feel alive!” Always, when we give of our time, our money, our talents, we are the better for it.
This is also an appropriate time to ask: Are you giving to yourself? Do you take care to provide balance in the areas of spiritual, physical, relationships and work? Airline attendants announce, “If this airplane unexpectedly loses altitude for any reason, an oxygen mask will drop down. If you’re traveling with a small child, be sure to put your oxygen mask on first before taking care of your child.” That might sound counter-productive to a parent, but you’re no good to that child if you’re passed out on the floor because of lack of oxygen.
The same holds true if you’re avoiding, denying or setting aside your need for healing of past hurts, dealing with a troubled relationship or delaying learning needed new skills. When you give to yourself to become a healthier you, you are better equipped to give to others and experience passion, fulfillment and blessings.
Why do we give? I can tell you by first-hand experience – it’s because when we follow God’s principles to give, we see Him work miracles in our lives as well as those whom you touch with a gift.
Barbra Russell
Director, Counseling Ministries
4 comments:
Dear Barbara:
I am one of the students in the Christian Counseling Course program you are heading up at our church, Heritage Christian Center. My response to your thoughtful article is that if we, as care-givers, do not commit first to fellowship with other Christian caregivers and our personal relationship with the Good Shepherd in our daily devotions, we will eventually, and quite quickly, find ourselves lacking in the gifts of the spirit, lacking in our personal health and integrity. If we ignore the warning signs of depletion due to over-attachment to our dreams and ambitions, our vision suffers a shape-shifting, and our faithfull Father will intervene to correct us, and our ways. It doesn't matter how old or young, advanced or entry-level we may be, the Potter will lay His hands on the clay of our developing careers. Praise God, as His children, delivered and saved by the Precious Blood of the Lamb, we can always trust Him to discipline us with love and provide the revalation we need in just His perfect timing, and we never, never, never need regret that HE is our LORD, so faithful and good to his shephers in the Kingdom. He has promised to finish and perfect the work He has begun in us! Praise Him today and everyday! - Myra
Hi Barb,
So enjoyed your articles on your blog. Great way to keep in touch with what you're doing. Blessings on you, Jerry and Dane on this Thanksgiving Day. Keep the 'good stuff' coming.
julie
HI! Barbra,
This is my comment:
WHY DO WE GIVE?
TO FOCUS NOT ON OURSELVES BUT OTHERS,WHATEVER IT MAY BE,OUR TIME,THINGS, MONEY.AND NEVER
EXPECT NOTHING BACK !
I have always enjoyed giving. I'm pretty outgoing and get a true high from making people smile. It's the receiving I had trouble with. I believe it stemmed from not feeling worthy. Over the years I worked on my self worth for myself, did some deep soul searching. Once my son was born, I could know longer think in terms of "if you get to know me you won't like me." So I set out reading books on building self esteem (yes, ms outgoing had personal self esteem issues) I think everyone does. As I started applying positive self talk, which just seemed silly at first and was surprisingly painful for me to say to myself. Saying outloud "I love you, Shelly." would make me cry, but as I said it every day and throughout the day along with letters to myself about why I'm valuable and loveable (even with all my "warts") I began to have a positive relationship with myself. It's still a struggle from time to time, but when someone offers a gift, overtips me, or is really generous over the top, instead of refusing it because I don't think I'm worthy, I graciously accept and let the giver have their gratification, too. I don't like the feeling when someone denies something I offer up, be it help, money, an unexpected birthday gift...so knowing that, I know that it's all in the circle being a good giver is good, being a good reciever is good, too. As a single parent I have prayed for assistance well....pretty much everyday, and as I look over the years (my son is 10 in January) he has provided and provided for me and my son. Thank goodness I learned to say thank you instead of no thank you, for many of those "gift of love, help, compassion, finances, etc" were answers to prayer from God.
So, Thank you and your welcome. Happy New Year, Aunt Barb. I love you.
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