What If Your Trouble Is Really Your Blessing?

By Barbra RussellDecember 10, 2012

Jason’s first clue that he might have a problem was a tingling in his right foot. He had been kite surfing off the waters of South Florida and hit something he initially thought must have been a concrete pier. Upon later reflection he stated, “there were a lot of spinner sharks in the water but I had never had a problem before. However, I think I T-boned the shark, hit it square in the head. It was the hardest thing I’d ever hit.” The shark bit back, leaving him with a gash on his right leg that severed tendons and ligaments, requiring 26 stitches to close.

What followed next some might call a miracle. While he was being treated for the shark attack, doctors found a previously undiagnosed, potentially fatal heart condition called Wolf-Parkinson-White syndrome. Seemingly healthy athletes with this hidden threat lurking in the body would just suddenly collapse, often on the basketball court or football field. And Jason, this vibrantly alive young man with no symptoms, had it.

Turns out, however, Jason was in the right place at the right time. This hospital was one of the top places in the country to perform the necessary procedure. After undergoing that successful technique, he had a regular heartbeat and doesn’t have to worry about becoming a heart-related death statistic!
Coincidence? I don’t think so. Romans 8:28 says: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God who have been called according to His purpose.” As Jason can testify, even shark attacks can be used for good. So I ask, “What if your trouble is really your blessing?”

Can you remember times you felt the sharks were circling around you? Those are the times we think catastrophe is surely the only outcome! Here’s a couple of examples of “shark attacks:”

• A teenage boy had a pretty severe case of acne and he was convinced he wouldn’t be able to date anyone when he had such an embarrassing problem! His parents took him to a dermatologist to quiet his fears and see if medication might help what seemed to be more than just the usual teenage bane of existence. However, while there, the doctor found a Stage II melanoma on his back which could have led to a far more dangerous conclusion. That acne “shark” saved his life!

• I lost my job after many years of thinking, “I’m going to stay here until I retire.” I wasn’t a young person, either! However, I still needed to work, and I wondered what on earth I was going to do. The resulting shock waves in my world created a mini-tsunami and an image of shark fins circling, a la “Jaws!” However, that reversal in my life turned into an opportunity to go back to school, obtain a degree in counseling and start an entirely new career, one which I enjoy much more, I must say! Survivor of a shark attack! That trouble definitely turned into a blessing!

What To Do in Case of a “Shark Attack”
• First of all, know you’re not alone – we could probably start a support group called, “When Sharks Attack!!” If I’ve survived, if others have survived, you will survive. Matthew 10:29-30 reminds us that God cares for the sparrows, and He will surely care for you.

• Secondly, feel what you feel. The Bible even tells us it’s ok to “be angry.” The other part of that verse, of course, instructs us to “sin not.” It’s normal to be frightened, angry, disappointed or to experience a host of other emotions. Share those feelings with a trusted friend, counselor and certainly God.

• Next, think back on any times, big or small, when something bad turned out to be ok, or perhaps even a blessing. Let those memories build your faith and confidence.

• Ask yourself: How will God use this to my benefit? Often, these “shark attacks” lead to new directions in your life, as happened with me.

This time of questioning, learning and planning will propel you from being stuck in fear to embracing that situation as your friend.

Jason is a happy man today, stating: “That shark did me a huge favor.” He’ll have scars from the event, to be sure, but they’ll remind him of the day his fear turned into his friend, his trouble into a blessing

Cancer – The Big “C”

  Do you have a cancer-prone personality?

            Well-known pastor and TV personality Joel Osteen often invites his mother to share her remarkable story of healing from cancer.  She relates how, after being told she had but a few weeks to live, she began to participate in an amazing comeback to complete health.

In addition to medical treatments and fervent prayers, she researched and began regularly quoting Biblical scriptures related to healing, plastered pictures of her “healthy self” all around her house, and she also wrote letters of forgiveness. 

Perhaps she didn’t know it then, but that was important.  Researchers have identified unforgiveness as one of the emotional traits which make people more vulnerable to cancer.  Therefore, following this important Biblical command makes even more good sense.   Science once again proves what God’s been telling us all along:          “Do what I tell you, and your life will be a lot better!   (My paraphrase)

Carl and Stephanie Simonton, early theorists on this subject, identified 4 traits of the “cancer-prone personality:”

1.    A great tendency to hold resentment and marked inability to forgive

2.    A tendency to self-pity

3.    A poor ability to develop and maintain meaningful long-term relationships

4.    A very poor self image

According to their theory, these negative emotions eventually express themselves in the body.  Malignancy is thus despair that has been experienced biologically, despair at the level of the cell.

            Despair at the level of the cell? -  that graphic description cries out for help, and a perfect time to reach for the combination of Biblical scriptures and Christian counseling. 

1.     Resentment & Unforgveness: 

Ephesians 4:31-32 – “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

2.    Self-Pity:

Psalm 37 – the entire chapter instructs us how to “delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”  V. 4

Proverbs 15:13:  “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. 

3.     Inability to maintain long term relationships:

In addition to the many Biblical admonitions to enjoy a healthy marriage, the Bible also instructs us that a good friend can be of great help.

Proverbs 27:9 – “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel”

Proverbs 27:17 – “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

4.    A very poor self image

There are many scriptures which remind us we are accepted, secure and significant.  A few of them are:

John 1:12 & 15:15 – “I am God’s child; I am God’s friend.” 

Romans 8:35-39 – I cannot be separated from the love of God.

Matthew 5:13,14 – I am the salt and light of the earth.

Want to be healthy?  Want to have a long, cancer-free life?  Make sure you don’t have despair at the level of the cell – replace those negative traits with hope, happiness, and asking for help! 

He didn't want a Stepford Wife!

For Women Only:

Got Self Esteem?

(Part I)

Picture an old man of mountain folk-lore sitting on the porch of an aged-gray shack, a pile of shavings at his feet. He’s whittling away.  Sometimes there's an incredible piece of art which emerges from a stump; sometimes there's just a pile of sawdust.

We women are at risk of feeling like that pile of sawdust whose inner beauty, true self and joy for living have been whittled away.  Feelings of self -worth are hidden in a pile of sawdust.   Rejection, abuse, abandonment – these all deteriorate or conceal God’s original artwork.  

What’s even more disturbing is when women do it to themselves, you know?  We mean well, we have good intentions but we begin to whittle, slowly eroding all evidence of our real selves.  It happens innocuously and for many, the process is ignored until depression, disease or divorce brings it to the forefront.

I didn't "get it" for a while, but once I became aware that my real self was hiding away somewhere, I began taking steps to correct the situation, and it wasn't long before I began to feel alive -- emerging from the shavings to become the piece of art God designed me to be.

But before the light bulb came on above my head, let me give you an example of my own whittling.  It all began when my husband laughed.

My son was less than a year old, and I was entertaining him -- and myself, truth be told -- by leading the parade in our living room, dancing in step with an old record of Sousa marches. That's when my husband came home from work and laughed. 

The problem? I assumed he was laughing at me -- after all, I thought I was being a bit foolish -- a grown woman acting like a kid??  But I didn't ask anything; I didn't talk; I just quit dancing.  And when I stopped dancing, I stopped being me. 

Why did I do this? Why do any of us women whittle ourselves down? I could cite many more examples; we're the first to put ourselves down with, "I'm sorry," when there's no reason to be sorry. We struggle with feeling good about our bodies; we care for others to the detriment of our own self-care, and we negatively compare ourselves with other

What’s this all about?  We women are a complex combination of emotions, details and a sixth sense that wakes us up in the middle of the night to discover a sick baby. We are made to pick up nuances of facial muscles, jaw tightening or body language that emits acceptance or disapproval.

Because these subtle signs often fend off disaster or discomfort, our brain becomes programmed to perform interpretive duties on thousands of small bits of information. We make assumptions and decisions based on these messages, but many times -- as in my case -- such "evidence" is false.

I brought an already weakened self-esteem into my marriage and over the years, just as I did as a young girl, I slowly began to change who I was and started to become who I believed someone else wanted me to be. I thought I was being a good wife, compromising without complaint as I quit going to musicals because he didn't enjoy them, stopped acting like a kid having a good time, and all in all resigning myself to living a shadow self. Looking back, it scares me that the analogy which came to mind was "The Stepford Wives," a movie about "perfect" wives who in reality were robots with no soul.

Another problem? My husband didn't want a Stepford Wife - he wanted the fun-loving, sometimes silly-acting, outgoing girl he fell in love with.  He loved seeing me dance.  He enjoyed seeing me happy at musicals.  Just because he didn't do those things didn't mean I shouldn't.

I once heard a story of Michelangelo describing his sculpture of "The David." Someone asked him how he knew what to cut away and design from the original piece of stone. His reply? "I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it."  He simply began to reveal what was already within; a magnificent piece of art which inspires us to this day. 

When we allow God, our divine sculptor, to use people, circumstances and troubles to slowly reveal our true statue of strength, grace and beauty, that's when we begin to make a positive impact on our world

(End of Part I)