"Mary" sat in my office, sobbing uncontrollably. "It's all my fault, I can't stand it, I don't know what to do" were her pain-filled words repeated again and again. Her teenaged daughter had been raped by "Mary's" current boyfriend, and now Mary, the self-reported black sheep of her family, the one known for drinking and partying, was faced with emotions she'd never allowed herself to feel.
After hearing some of her history, I told Mary the following story: "A young man was thrown into a cage of lions where he was quickly cornered by the huge beasts who were roaring and pawing the air as though playing with him before he was torn to shreds. He cowered in the corner of the cage, feeling totally powerless and hopeless, finally winding up in a fetal position on the cold, damp floor, waiting for death.
Suddenly, the roaring ceased. The young man sensed the lions were gone. "What was happening?" he wondered and looked around. To his abject horror, he again heard roaring and saw his beautiful fiance lying sprawled on the opposite end of this prison cell where she too had been thrown, and she was surrounded by the threatening lions.
Without giving thought to his own safety, the young man jumped to his feet, adrenaline surging through his body. He ran head-long toward the lions, screaming, yelling, frantic to do anything to save his bride-to-be! His sudden, threatening appearance seemingly confused the lions, and they backed away.
The lion tamer, who all along had been standing nearby stated, "I see you've found something worth fighting for."
"Mary," I continued, "I believe you've found something worth fighting for."
For the first time in her 40+ years, Mary confessed she too had been sexually abused at the age of 5 or 6. All the anger, hurt, confusion, pain, betrayal and shame she had pushed down deep into her soul and covered with alcohol, promiscuity and hanging out at the bars came rushing up in a volcano of suppressed emotions as she saw her daughter thrown to the lions.
For the first time, she didn't seek refuge in a bottle or at a bar. For the first time, she began saying aloud what her inner self had been hiding for many years. For the first time, she was facing a lot of fear, but she was looking her tormentor straight in the eyes and not backing down! For the first time, Mary has the chance to heal, to hope, to recover.
Have you found something worth fighting for? Perhaps your story is not so dramatic -- maybe it's more like the young father-to-be who willingly stopped using drugs and now proudly states: "It's time I grow up and take care of my family.!" Or maybe it's when the scales tip into the "now you're really overweight" zone, and you determine: "It's time to call Weight Watchers!" Maybe you have a dream, but you've been frozen by insecurity which is echoed in the saying, "People hold onto known misery rather than reach out for unknown happiness."
It's actually quite amazing what you can do when you come up out of the corner with a fighting spirit. You may need to ask for help. You may need to learn new skills. You may have to take some risks. However, when the desire comes from deep within, you find opportunities instead of obligations, freedom instead of fear and purpose that makes you feel alive!
When the lions roar loudly in your life, look around you, look deep inside you -- and find something worth fighting for!
