It's one of those "looks-so-easy-but-makes-you-want-to-pull-your-hair-out" moves I learned in my Tai Chi class. There's probably an exotic name for this move, but we simply called it "opposite arm-opposite leg." And just like that sounds, the object of the move is to take your left arm, extend it, and at the same time extend your right leg. Then you exchange limbs - right arm with left leg. Simple, right? Easy, right? And actually when you try it (I suggest you do), you can do it.
Slowly, with concentration, I would extend left arm and right leg. The trick is to continue that movement after you've stopped and want to get going again. What generally happens is a goose-stepping stance that looks like Nazis on parade with right arm and right leg briskly stepping out, then left arm and left leg following in stiff military fashion.
The whole concept of "opposite arm-opposite leg" is to help cross-train body and brain interactions, bringing increased health, concentration and physical/emotional well-being. It's a good thing to learn, albeit a challenge. Like I said, it "looks-so-easy-but-makes-you-want-to-pull-your-hair-out." I don't remember how long it took me to conquer the natural tendency my body had learned since toddler-ship. After all, I learned how you're "supposed to walk."
So it is with our brains. We "learn" how we're "supposed to think" and when challenged with a different way of thinking, even though we can logically know it's better for us, it's hard to change.
Slowly, with concentration, I would extend left arm and right leg. The trick is to continue that movement after you've stopped and want to get going again. What generally happens is a goose-stepping stance that looks like Nazis on parade with right arm and right leg briskly stepping out, then left arm and left leg following in stiff military fashion.
The whole concept of "opposite arm-opposite leg" is to help cross-train body and brain interactions, bringing increased health, concentration and physical/emotional well-being. It's a good thing to learn, albeit a challenge. Like I said, it "looks-so-easy-but-makes-you-want-to-pull-your-hair-out." I don't remember how long it took me to conquer the natural tendency my body had learned since toddler-ship. After all, I learned how you're "supposed to walk."
So it is with our brains. We "learn" how we're "supposed to think" and when challenged with a different way of thinking, even though we can logically know it's better for us, it's hard to change.
For many years some company managers and organizations interacted with their personnel in a "I'll yell at you and tell you what's wrong and then you'll be motivated to prove me wrong and do better" method of management.
Likewise, most Americans are inundated with messages such as "success follows hard work" which means you're supposed to be stressed out, and "if you have time to joke around, you must not be doing your job." On the personal front, covert messages of fear, comparison and disaster in the media and our everyday negative conversations have "trained" us to look for the "next bad thing."
Therapists joined right in, tending to dig into the "why" of emotional issues, insistent upon people dealing with the "real," "deep" problem and discussing what's wrong ad nauseum. Consequently, as a long-standing joke declares, "you walk into your therapist's office with one problem and leave with ten."
So when a 10-year research study by a Harvard professor proves that success follows happiness, instead of the other way around, our brains often need some serious retraining. "What? we think. "If you're happy, then you're more successful? You're kidding, right?" Because often this thought goes against everything we "know" to be true. The study met all research criteria and soundly concluded those people who decide to be happy first, those who focus on the positive, who intentionally look for and celebrate even small achievements are indeed more successful.
One part of the study looked at accomplished sales people, a group whose outcomes are easily measured. Researchers found they had 90% more sales than the rest of their co-workers. 90%? Really?" we say. 90%? Yes, that's right. The common thread? They loved what they did; they were optimistic, happy and enthusiastic. Their success followed their happiness. They made mistakes but they learned from them, and looked at what worked, rather than focusing on what went wrong.
The challenge, then, as we accept this new way of thinking, is to start the retraining job. I often help clients visualize this process by imagining ruts created on a country road after hours of rain have caused a muddy mess. As drivers carefully find their way through the mud like a horse daintily placing one hoof down after another, the beginning of a rut starts to emerge. As this trail is followed again and again, the rut deepens until the only successful way out is to stay in the rut.
Similarly, we learn how to safely navigate life's experiences by staying in well-defined ruts. When challenged with a new, more positive direction, our focus needs to be just as intense as we (No. 1) turn our "steering wheel" in the brain to a different point, then (No. 2) remain fixed in that direction to blaze a new trail.
Just imagine - it's really true that if you're happy and smiling, singing a tune or "whistling while you work," you'll be more productive and successful. Just inmagine -- it's really true that when you're intent on looking for the best in people or situations, you'll find yourself on the winning side. Or, as Paul said in the Bible, "I've learned to be content no matter my circumstances," as good a definition of happiness that I've ever heard.
I don't have to imagine - I know what happens in therapy sessions as I help people look for what's going right in their lives. There's always a place, of course, to deal with forgiving the past and learning new skills, but when you think about it, that's forward-moving versus problem-immersion. And often it boils down to training our brains to think differently, which in turn guides our emotions, our choices and our resulting experiences.
Here's an easy way to begin the "retraining" process. The minute you wake up in the morning, stretch and say out loud, "This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it." Repeat this phrase as you take your shower. Then, at the end of the day, as you get ready to go to bed, remind yourself of things you could "rejoice and be glad" about that day. It might be something familiar like appreciating getting home safely, having a job or family. Or perhaps you were surprised by the opportunity to make more money, meet new people or the great deal you got on a purchase.
Whatever you come up with, as you begin your day by stating your resolution, and wind up reflecting on how it came to pass, you've begun the process of retraining your brain. Just as I began to feel happier when I "rejoiced and was glad," and experienced more mastery from my Tai Chi movements, I also saw improved health, concentration and physical/emotional well-being. All because I trained my brain.
A final note: Focus on establishing happiness first and see the results. After a while, you'll find you're thinking differently, looking for the good in people, experiences and situations. And you too will find that success follows happiness. All you have to do is train your brain.
