Eliza Dolittle and Me

If you’ve lived for very long, you’ve likely experienced something traumatic. Oh, maybe you didn’t have open heart surgery or a near-death experience, but somewhere along the line you’ve gone through a “dark night of the soul.”  Whether it was a physical challenge, an emotional nightmare or a spiritual crisis of faith, it’s not a comfortable place to reside!
I remember being bed-ridden for a year with a debilitating disc degeneration. After several months, unwelcome thoughts began to plague me; thoughts like, “I don’t want to live like this; I can see why people commit suicide.”  A year earlier, even a few weeks earlier, I would have vehemently denied I would ever be in such a depressed state, susceptible to such despair!
Sure, I might have been somewhat neurotic and insecure, but believed I was reasonably well adjusted, a life-long believer and follower of Christ.  Lying on the couch in traction, I felt like Eliza Doolittle from “My Fair Lady” protesting to Professor Higgins in her strong Cockney accent, “I’m a good girl, I am!”  In other words, this shouldn’t happen to me!
But Eliza had lessons to learn, and so did I.  Here’s a few of mine.
1. Sometimes you need to ask for help.
I couldn’t do the dishes, vacuum the floor, wash clothes, prepare meals, and I was off work for that entire year.  But I was too proud to ask for help.
That pride-filled spirit came from a long line of “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” kind of people.  My parents lived through the Great Depression.  My mother’s family piled the family car high with kids and possessions and headed to California, seeking work in the fruit orchards; John Steinbeck’s book, The Grapes of Wrath, could have been written about them.  When they returned to Oklahoma, my grandfather became a bootlegger, producing homemade whiskey in a backwoods still.  The Creel family did it all by themselves!
My father entered the “CCC” job program instituted after the Depression to help provide work for desperate people across the country.  For as long as they lived, my parents scrimped, saved and survived – The Sutton family did it all by themselves!
That’s something to be proud of, of course.  However, the accompanying message I grew up with was: “Don’t ask for anything; do it yourself!”  I carried that message too far.  It became Pride, with a Capital P.  From that came another bit of schooling:
2. Sometimes what you grow up believing is not necessarily a good thing. 
Eliza Doolittle grew up believing the most she could ever achieve was to have her own flower shop.  Like Eliza, when our beliefs put such limitations on us, it takes something big to get our attention!  For Eliza, that meant a prolonged time of elocution lessons, and learning to think, speak and act like a lady!  For me, it required a year of enforced bed rest and time for prayer and contemplation.
3. You Need to Receive, As Well As Give
Jesus’ words, ‘it is more blessed to give than to receive” had always been my mantra.  During this trial, for me, who needed to learn to receive, I can also tell you it’s easier to give than receive.
In addition to my heaping dose of PRIDE, I was also a preacher’s kid who believed it was my job to “model perfection and GIVE to others.”  Not only was it hard for me to ask for help, it was hard for me to lie on the couch while others brought meals, prayed for me, and did my dirty laundry.
I came to learn, however, that people who gave to me were receiving that blessing I had always selfishly hogged for myself. Ok, God, another lesson learned!  I need to receive as well as give.
4. Good Things Happen When You Learn Your Lessons!
Good things happened to Eliza Doolittle – After she completed training under Professor Higgin’s tutelage, she truly “became a lady.”
Good things happened to me too.
I got well.
I grew emotionally and spiritually.
And I will always remember the lessons learned during that difficult time – Eliza Doolittle and me – we had some things in common.

The Jesus Boat

 

The Jesus Boat

 

By Barbra Russell

 

 

             In 1986 two brothers discovered the remains of an ancient fishing boat from the time of Jesus.   Drought had reduced the water level of the Sea of Galilee, and they stumbled across the remains of the boat on the newly exposed shore.

 

In the first century the hull sank to the bottom of the lake where it became covered with mud, preventing bacterial decomposition.  While the recovery and restoration process was delicate and time-consuming, today you can see the “Jesus Boat” on display.  Enterprising local citizens have made several replicas of that olden vessel, and today visitors can experience a familiar Biblical story on the Sea of Galilee. 

 

            We boarded the “Faith” Boat one Sunday morning in Israel and were transported back in time to the narrative described in John 21.  The disciples had fished all night but caught no fish.  Then Jesus appeared, told them to throw their nets on the other side, and, “when they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.”  And now we were on such a boat!  Talk about being immersed in the incredible! 

 

             Captain Daniel began singing as we headed out to sea.  Although I didn’t understand the Hebrew words, the atmosphere was filled with God’s presence and my tears were tears of joy and of worship. 

 

            Floating in the central part of the Sea, Daniel threw out a net but caught no fish; just like the disciples!   Unlike that historic night, however, when he threw the net on the other side, he still caught no fish!  We laughed and recognized it was more about re-creating the experience!

 

            From the middle of the Sea of Galilee, we could see familiar Biblical landmarks where Jesus walked, taught and performed miracles –The Mount of the Beatitudes, where Jesus taught, where He fed the 5,000.  Mark 4:1 says, “Again Jesus began to teach by the lake.”  We were on that lake!  The lake where Jesus walked on the water; the shore where He prepared a meal for his disciples, where by His word, the disciples caught their nets full of fish!     

 

            I remember the day we visited the area where it’s believed Jesus prepared a meal for his disciples.  It was foggy that day, and it wasn’t hard to imagine we might look through the mist and see their boat appear!  I wish we could have had a fish-fry on the spot!

 

 

 

            Sailing on “Faith” and exploring where Jesus changed the history of mankind became highlights in Israel – a land of contrasts. 

 

The barren Judean desert is home to wild horses and camels as well as shepherd boys with herds of goats and sheep.  Masada (the “Jewish Alamo”) towers over the Dead Sea and the Jericho hills remind me of the Great Sand Dunes here in Colorado! 

 

                               

 

Yet, there are also three major bodies of water in this small nation as well as the Jordan River where thousands of people have been baptized.   Lush vegetation, produce and large pomegranates prompted one local artist to describe this as representing the abundance of God

 

 

              

 

            Ancient ruins and modern cities, orthodox cultures and contemporary people all co-exist in this Holy Land, with its sacred history and modern-day challenges. 

 

                            

 

            It’s true – I’ll never read the Bible in the same way again or teach without visualizing, without remembering “I’ve walked where Jesus walked.”  Going to Israel will affect your outlook and change your life.  Climb aboard a “Jesus Boat” and see for yourself! 

 

 

           

 

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

           

           

           

Five Days in Jerusalem

Five Days in Jerusalem

Kojak the camel provided my first panoramic view of the Holy City.  On a hillside overlooking this ancient city, Kojak, a well-known feature of Jerusalem, carried me as he has hundreds of visitors on a swaying jaunt. That ride became the first of many unique encounters in this alluring land.

After dismounting, I spent time taking in the scene below.  Displayed in centuries-old splendor were well-known sites:  The Mount of Olives and Garden of Gethsemane, the Dome of the Rock and the Wailing Wall, as well as the bustling Jewish and Arab Marketplaces.

Like many people, a trip to Israel had been on my bucket list for quite a while and Jerry and I joined three other couples in experiencing this life-changing event.  Some advice we received at the onset:  “See Israel with your heart, not just your eyes and be open to how God will minister to you.”  Good advice.  During our stay this land touched my heart in surprising ways. 

Can you imagine treading where Jesus walked, or climbing where King Herod’s prolific
palaces towered?  On this historic and exotic ground, truly the Bible comes alive!  But
how do you encapsulate two weeks of richness with the poverty of words?  Such spiritual and emotional experiences result in at least a feeling of time travel.

 For example, we made our way through a crowded Jewish “shuk” – a farmer’s market on steroids!  People everywhere were purchasing food for the Sabbath meal.  The strawberries were huge, and the pomegranates gigantic! I was reminded of Joshua and Caleb recounting their observations of the Promised Land – “We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey!  Here is its fruit.”  We got a taste (pun intended!) of what they meant!

Isaiah’s prophetic words, “By His stripes we are healed”  never rang more true than when we prayed for healing in the place where Jesus was beaten – What a powerful and moving experience as we remembered - this is where He shed His blood for us!    

We followed the Via Dolorosa along the cobblestones, and I was struck by the steepness of the climb.  No wonder Jesus, after being beaten, exhausted with pain and sorrow, needed help carrying his cross!

We remembered Jesus’ crucifixion, then we stood in front of the Eastern Gate on the Walled City of Jerusalem and celebrated where He will return.  After experiencing these sights first-hand, you might imagine when I offered prayers at the Wailing Wall, I was emotionally overcome! 

                        

 

In the midst of feeling God’s presence there at the wall, I caught a glimpse of a heart-warming sight.  A young Jewish boy knelt down to write his prayer to place in the crevices of the Wall.  What a picture of this culture and this place! 

                               

 

Needless to say, there were many other sights, sacred places and occasions for experiences that touched my heart; space doesn’t permit describing them all.  But Five Days in Jerusalem will always be a time held dear, encounters I’ll always treasure.  Writing about Our Days at the Sea of Galilee comes next! 

Have you visited the Holy Land or have a desire to do so?  I’d love to hear about your experiences or your dreams!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                           

             

             

 

I Became A Different Me

I Became a Different “Me” 

   

  

I’m a die-hard Denver Broncos football fan!  As I write this, the city is blanketed with blue and orange and hyped to win a Super Bowl!  I’m right in there - Bronco T-shirt, coat and even Bronco earrings!  I love attending games and yelling at the TV when I’m relegated to watching at home.  I’m familiar with players, principles of the game and can even speak somewhat intelligently about plays, penalties and positions! 

 

            But it wasn’t always like this.  In fact, I remember attending my first-ever football game as a young wife and mother and asking, “What’s a fumble?”  I knew NOTHING about football!  

            However, about the time our young son began to walk, he began to pass Nerf footballs with his dad.  They watched football on TV, played football in the yard and in short, football became front and center at our house. Even as a little guy, my son insisted on wearing a helmet that swallowed up his head, leaving him to stumble around looking like a bobble-head in an oversized football shirt. 

 

            It began to be very clear that the males in this household were going to quickly leave the only female in the football dust!  I had to take drastic action – thus, the trip to the Houston Astrodome and my introduction to this different world.

            My need and desire to be included led to a big adjustment that’s been good for me. Here’s the basic process I went through: 

·        First, I acted out of necessity.  “I want to be included.”

·        Next, my actions became habitual.  “Let’s watch a game.”

·        Third, it became a lifestyle. “Watching/playing football is part of my life.”

·        Lastly, it became my identity – “I’m a Broncos fan.”

But sometimes such a need and desire to be included can mask a fear of rejection, a need for approval or wanting to please others.  Deeply-instilled reactions might even come from a need for safety--- like the child who hides when a drunken parent comes home.  That child has learned not to speak up or show up lest they get hurt.  Such childhood responses can become an adult way of life and then they don’t serve us so well!  

   

I have a sign in my office that reads:  “Dad – A boy’s first hero, a girl’s first love.”        Too many boys and girls experience either a physically or emotionally absent father and that hunger for dad -- the hero, the first love is exceedingly strong!  My relationship with my father typified a daughter’s longing for love, approval and acceptance.  When I didn’t hear, “I love you,” or “that’s a great job;” when there were no hugs or shows of affection, without realizing it, I began to inwardly starve.  And, just as the physical body begins to shrink when deprived of nutrients, my emotional and spiritual soul started to wither.  And I became a different “me.”  

 

 

·        First, out of necessity and that huge desire to be accepted, I began to “perform.”  I thought, “maybe if I do really well in school, if I’m a “good girl” at home, at church and everywhere, he’ll tell me he loves me!”

·        Secondly, performance became habitual.  After all, there were some pay-offs for being really, really good! 

·        Thirdly, I began to adopt a lifestyle of wanting to please, being fearful of saying the wrong thing and losing my own identity in the quest to become someone else.

·        Lastly, “The Performer” became who I was.

            I couldn’t find the courage to speak up, especially to older males - go figure!  I became resentful, afraid and had no real feeling of self-worth, although I still continued to put on a good act! 

            When I finally gained the courage to recognize what I’d become, my counselor helped me discover a broken child within.  With tears flooding down my face, I found my voice.  In the safety of that counseling office, long-buried emotions came pouring out and I offered forgiveness and acceptance. 

And something wonderful happened!  I became me – the REAL ME!  It was like enjoying that football game for the first time.  What joy!  What excitement!  Now, when I succeed in life, I celebrate.  If I fail, at first I flip out and then I learn from it!  But along the way, it’s good to be me! 

            What a relief to be honest, to say “yes” to what I want and “no” when I need without worrying about what people might say, or what they might think of me!

            You, like me, may not have experienced all you needed from your dad, but you have a Heavenly Father who accepts and loves you, is proud of your accomplishments and knows you inside out.  Jeremiah 31:3 states, “For I have loved you with an everlasting love.” 

            Are You A Different “Me?”  Don’t be afraid to look at why you do what you do.  Perhaps you, like me, will need someone to help you become the Real You.  I encourage you to take advantage of counseling so you too can bask in the sunlight of fulfilled days, be who God has truly made you to be and live out His purpose in your life.  

 

 

 

 

           

 

           

                                                          

           

 

Draw For Your Dinner

Draw For Your Dinner

 

 

 

Have you heard of the old phrase, “Sing for your supper?” 

             Instead of a singer performing to earn his meal, I decided to have those gathered around our Thanksgiving table this year “Draw for your dinner.” 

             Each participant will draw a picture of something specific they’re thankful for, as they look back on the year 2013.  Artistic ability is not a requirement - as you can clearly see from my drawing below! 

 

            My thankful memory of 2013 consists of a heart with a couple of feet at the bottom.  That image represents a couple of related events this year.  The heart signifies our son’s successful open heart surgery, and he’s alive!  The feet? The article I wrote about that whole episode, “Clapping With Your Feet,” became my first published article!

             When we cite specific instances of thanks, we avoid the trap of rote recitation, taking God and good things for granted. 

             The entire chapter of Psalm 118 speaks to varied and mighty works of God.  “…His love endures forever.”  “The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.”  “The Lord is my strength and my song.  “I will not die but live.”  And certainly, “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

             During 2013, these verses came alive for our family more than ever, and as I draw, I’m reminded of God’s goodness.  That picture will remain etched on my memory as I look forward to 2014.

             What would you draw to represent a specific occasion, event, answered prayer, or opportunity?  I’d love to hear your answers or see your illustrations of thankfulness, and you too can “Draw for your Dinner.”   

God, help us not to love what's killing us!

God, help us not to love what’s killing us!

 

“God, help us not to love what’s killing us!”  Dr. Chris Hill’s impassioned prayer concluded his message, “Scandalous,” based on the infamous Samson and Delilah story found in Judges 16.

From the perspective of centuries later, it certainly seems obvious to me that Samson should have seen what Delilah was up to.  I mean, after 3 different times of her manipulation and setting his enemies upon him, you’d think he would be on to her.  Yet, Samson, this strongest of all men, was drawn like a moth to a flame, seduced by the very thing that would  kill him.

But guess what?  Living in the modern world creates no immunity from that same behavior.  I believe all of us can relate to the apostle Paul’s lament, ….” what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do.”  Let’s listen in on some present-day “Samsons:”

       “Well, we’ve all got to go sometime,” heard at the bedside of a smoker with lung cancer who still felt compelled to light up a cigarette.

       “I think he’s really changed, and he promised he wouldn’t beat me again,” the bruised and battered victim of domestic violence proclaims.

 

      “That 3 bites of candy bar was so good, I ate the whole thing!  But I’m not having any more sugar after next Monday!”

 I could go on and on, but it seems we all need to pray, “God, help us not to love what’s killing us!”  Why do we rationalize, justify and continue to love what’s killing us? 

 In addition to usual explanations (we’re all human, we don’t like change, etc.) an understanding of how our brain works might help. 

 Our brain has many neural pathways which function like super-highways.  These freeways provide fast-moving flow of information, allowing us to do many routine tasks “on automatic.”  Pretty soon, we have what I call “ruts in the road,” those well-defined routes to routine. 

 

Imagine an old pick-up traveling down a country road after a heavy rain.  As long as that truck stays within the confines of the ruts created in mud, the driver keep on going in the same direction. 
 

Similarly, after a smoker lights up after a meal, pretty soon the mind, the hand, the lungs and the cigarette are all moving down the “rut in the road,” until the action becomes automatic, then addictive.

If that pick-up is going to get out of the “ruts,” it’s going to take some effort, because the temptation of “easy, known or desired,” is often hard to resist.  But if those ruts are leading to a washed-out bridge, there’s danger ahead.  And if that driver refuses to leave the ruts, he might be killed. 

 The good news is, however, that again our brain can help us out.  Research has also shown that our brain has “plasticity,” the ability to continue to learn and develop new neural pathways.

 Thus, if we start on a NEW path, a new way of behaving, thinking, learning, we can start jogging instead of eating, chewing gum instead of smoking, dealing with troublesome issues instead of “stuffing,”  and the positive changes can go on and on. 

 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”  2 Corinthians 5:17

 Let us learn from Samson, from Paul and from our own history and be determined to stop loving the things that are killing us!